Weird, Awkward Spot
So, I'm in that 'weird, awkward spot".....Mr. B is graduating, but he's not. Whatever happens, he'll stay in district for the next three years, as he can because he legally can. I suppose I need to back up a bit....
So, the reason I haven't been blogging as much as I wanted to is there have been some things going on. Some things I can talk about, and some things I can't (legal things). So, I've been even "vaguebook' on Facebook. I am in this 'weird, awkward spot' in terms of moms of the class of 2018. "Weird, Awkward" because, yes, he's walking in graduation and he's doing everything 'graduation like', but is he graduating? No, not really. He has the credits, met everything he needs to do for graduation, but the district keeps his certificate until he actually leaves the district. So, here I am....weird and awkward.
Lots of things going on emotionally that we have to deal with as special needs moms, things that 'typical moms' don't even have to, things I wouldn't put my worst enemy through. Last week, we put him in a guardianship. What does that mean? Well, lots of things. He can't enter into a legal contract, he can't marry (our choice, I don't think he'd understand), he can't vote (our choice, we didn't think he'd understand it, either) and we control his medical and his money. Basically, we condemned him to be extremely poor, unless something happens, radically and he 'gets' the capacity to do so. It's a tough thing to process as a parent. I know in my heart, maybe it's a mom thing, that he still has 'the best is yet to come' with him. There's so many things that he has "yet' to do. Honestly, I believe it.
Then, graduation...I sort of alluded to it, it's the whole 'he's graduating, but he's not graduating' thing. Where do I fall? All of the other moms are talking about their senior's big plans...college, military, exciting things...where is he? Enjoying Disney Princesses, taking selfies, watching Kelly Clarkston videos. I am just in a 'different place' with this guy. It's okay, not good, not bad, just different.....a place you'd think I'd be accustomed to by now after 18 years.
I have a great support system, I don't want you to pity me. I have friends who know more of my truth. Friends who I call upon when life is giving me lemonade.
So, the reason I haven't been blogging as much as I wanted to is there have been some things going on. Some things I can talk about, and some things I can't (legal things). So, I've been even "vaguebook' on Facebook. I am in this 'weird, awkward spot' in terms of moms of the class of 2018. "Weird, Awkward" because, yes, he's walking in graduation and he's doing everything 'graduation like', but is he graduating? No, not really. He has the credits, met everything he needs to do for graduation, but the district keeps his certificate until he actually leaves the district. So, here I am....weird and awkward.
Lots of things going on emotionally that we have to deal with as special needs moms, things that 'typical moms' don't even have to, things I wouldn't put my worst enemy through. Last week, we put him in a guardianship. What does that mean? Well, lots of things. He can't enter into a legal contract, he can't marry (our choice, I don't think he'd understand), he can't vote (our choice, we didn't think he'd understand it, either) and we control his medical and his money. Basically, we condemned him to be extremely poor, unless something happens, radically and he 'gets' the capacity to do so. It's a tough thing to process as a parent. I know in my heart, maybe it's a mom thing, that he still has 'the best is yet to come' with him. There's so many things that he has "yet' to do. Honestly, I believe it.
Then, graduation...I sort of alluded to it, it's the whole 'he's graduating, but he's not graduating' thing. Where do I fall? All of the other moms are talking about their senior's big plans...college, military, exciting things...where is he? Enjoying Disney Princesses, taking selfies, watching Kelly Clarkston videos. I am just in a 'different place' with this guy. It's okay, not good, not bad, just different.....a place you'd think I'd be accustomed to by now after 18 years.
I have a great support system, I don't want you to pity me. I have friends who know more of my truth. Friends who I call upon when life is giving me lemonade.
posted by katie at 10:17 AM
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